


Picking Up the Pieces

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hobbies, Hurt Bucky Barnes, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-01-26 11:11:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1686266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam suggests that Bucky take up a hobby to get his mind off all that has happened to him, and Steve is with him all through the lengthy process of finding out what Bucky likes to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't necessarily a continuation from my last entry, but I just like the thought of Bucky being open to trying new things, Steve being super supportive and loving, and both of them being secretly/not so secretly in love with each other <3 
> 
> Feel free to leave comments and tell me if I should continue the story! (It was hard trying to make a good mix of witty friend and good counselor for Sam's dialogue, so please tell me if you guys have any advice for future reference!)

Even though Bucky has gotten used to the idea of "civilian life" since reuniting with Steve, he still has this nagging (often paralyzing) feeling that the shadow of Winter Soldier is trailing behind him, always a sickening reminder of who he used to be.

Everyday of the first week after Bucky decided to stay with Steve to regain his identity, Steve made sure he spent as much time as he could with Bucky. At first, all Bucky wanted was to be told stories of their upbringing in Brooklyn, time with the Howling Commandos and other memories he couldn't remember in great detail, and assured of the emotional and physical safety he never had the right to while serving Hydra.

However, when he was alone, Bucky's thoughts would drift off towards blood shed, the sound of screams, bullets riddling bodies or of necks snapping at his touch, and Bucky just sat there helpless until he was brought back to reality by a frantic Steve. One morning Bucky lost himself to nightmares of his past he tore apart pillows and sheets, and was hyperventilating with tears and sweat dripping onto the wreckage of his bed before he felt the warm embrace of Steve's arms calm him. Steve's steady pleads reminding him that they were just sitting in Bucky's room in Steve's apartment, not at a Hydra base administering a wipe or out on a mission, and that they were safe.

"I'm really sorry about the bed Steve," Bucky says in a hush voice.

"As long as you aren't hurt, it doesn't matter that somethings will get broken."

"Steve, _I'm broken._ "

Steve grimaces because he knows Bucky isn't without reason to believe that statement. He simply kisses the top of Bucky's forehead before enfolding him in a tighter embrace.

"Nobody's perfect Bucky. We'll go get help together after I make you some breakfast and clean up this mess."

Bucky nods and gives Steve a pained grin before getting up to replace his sweat stained tank top. "Can I have waffles with blueberries?"

Steve gently tucks loose strands of hair in front of Bucky's face behind his ear. "Anything for you, but will you do me this favour..."

***

Human contact is the last thing Bucky wants to add to his list of anxiety triggers, but Steve holding onto his right hand keeps most of his worries away. They sit at the very back of the room during a support meeting at the VA led by Sam. To his credit, Sam is a brilliantly passionate speaker for more than just the fact that he understands the pain of everyone in the room, but Bucky's focus on his speeches slips when he remembers that Sam is also the Falcon, a friend of Steve's he almost killed. At Steve's insistence, they approach Sam after the meeting ends.

Sam greets them both with a wide smile and hugs Steve. "Well if it isn't Captain Little Ass. Glad you two could make it today."

"Sam, I'd like to formally introduce you to Bucky."

Sam is the first to extend his hand as they shake, perfectly civil as if they've never fought or shot at each other before. "Hey, what's up man. James right?"

"You can call me Bucky." 

"Oh, I'm honoured," Sam says with genuine gratitude. "While Steve here's always tries being the hero, you're the only person I've ever heard him call _his_ hero."

Bucky has a faint blush spread on his cheeks as he looks at a proud Steve, smiling as if to reaffirm that what Sam had said is true.

_But I'm not the Bucky you knew, I'm not good enough to be anyone's hero anymore._

Suddenly, Steve receives a call and chooses to answer it in another room. "Sorry guys, if you'll excuse me, someone's calling."

"Yo, if it's Ironman tell Tony Stark that the Falcon wants to challenge him to a fight," Sam jokingly says before Steve rolls his eyes as he leaves.

Bucky begins getting nervous with the absence of Steve, but Sam's casual demeanor makes Bucky more comfortable than he expected to feel.

"I'm sorry about what I did to your car and your suit a while back," Bucky confesses, because apologizing is the first thing he thinks of to start a conversation.

"Hey, we're all still alive so it's alright. I forgive you. Plus, you didn't do any damage to the money maker," Sam replies as he thoughtfully strokes his chin before muttering. "That was Rumlow's job. . ."

Bucky wants to chuckle at Sam's joke, but remembers that he worked with Rumlow and Hydra to do more than just break Sam's face and possessions. Sam notices Bucky scowling, his eyes aimed at the ground, and exhales, "Don't hate yourself so much for the things you didn't have the choice to say 'no' to."

"I-I just hate how weak I feel, ya know? When Steve's not around, I just get reminders of all the damage I've done. I'm not worried about my own life, I'm worrying about endangering the lives of others again. All this guilt and shame from following orders, never stopping myself. I should've-"

Sam gently places a hand on his shoulder to stop Bucky from continuing. "Recovery is a long process that takes patience and will power. You need to forgive yourself for the things that have happened before you can put the past behind you."

"How do I do that?"

With a sigh Sam explains, "Bucky, give yourself the respect you deserve. Your existence isn't based off of the things you've done, what matters is the things you plan to do and the reasons why you will do them. Don't allow the past hold you back from a future full of potential. I know that you will do good, possibly amazing, things with your life once you becoming really passionate about something truly meaningful to you."

Bucky gives Sam a meek smile. "I barely remember who I used to be. Trying to figure out who I want to be now. . ."

"Well, I guess you just have to find things that make you happy, that make you feel life is worth really living. You learn who you really are from the things and people you love," Sam hints while flashing a hopeful smile.  

"Are you saying I need to pick up a hobby or something?" Bucky scoffed.

Sam shrugs. "Wouldn't hurt. Your life is in your hands now. Do the things you want to with it."

Bucky thanks Sam and Steve comes back into the room while they're shaking hands again. Steve is elated to see that they're getting along together and suggests they get lunch together, but Sam shoots him down.

"Sorry Rogers, Natasha was nice enough to donate her car to me. I'm finally gonna take that puppy for a spin today with the girl from front desk," Sam winks before seeing the two off. "Enjoy the rest of your day guys. Stop by a library or something."

Bucky smirks thinking back on Sam's advice as he walks out of the VA with Steve's gentle hand on his.

***

The first activity Bucky tries is reading. He takes out several novels from a "Top 100" list he saw in the library (mostly judging them on how much he liked their covers) and buys non-prescription reading glasses from the drugstore near the library. It wasn't that Bucky had any sight issues (all his sense were beyond impeccable), he just liked having glasses to maintain his focus purely on the text of whatever he was reading (he was also very pleased with how the frame of the glasses accentuated his deep blue eyes).

It's 1 am on a Thursday night when Bucky is reclining on an armchair in Steve's living room, the lights are set to dim as Bucky gets fully engrossed into another novel. Steve leans against the door frame between the kitchen and the living room, arms crossed, admiring how calm and at peace his friend looks.

"Hmm, reading 'Winnie the Pooh' I see," Steve remarks.

"Shut your mouth Rogers, this is classic piece of literature," Bucky proudly interjects before laying his book down to meet eyes with Steve. "What are you looking at anyways?"

"You."

"Oh yeah? What about me is so interesting to you?" Bucky taunts as a smirk spreads slowly across his face as he scans Steve from head to toe.

"That you're still up reading this late and you aren't tired. You did a number on the frame of your bed too, so you can come read in my bed before you go to sleep."

"I'll accept your offer on one condition Steve. You have to read this to me," Bucky proclaims as he points back to his copy of "Winnie the Pooh".

They both laugh at the prospect of hearing the mighty Captain America read a children's book aloud, but Steve agrees much to Bucky's surprised delight.

A half an hour later, Bucky falls asleep to the sound of Steve's lively baritone narrate Pooh's attempts to get honey. Steve relishes the sight of his friend leaning against his shoulder, sound asleep and possibly dreaming of adventures in the Hundred Acre Wood, instead of breaking out into cold sweats and reliving his past traumas. He carefully slips the glasses off of Bucky's face before placing a soft, secret kiss on Bucky's lips and tucks him in for the night.

Bucky can't tell for sure if it was either the presence of Steve sleeping in the same bed or his renewed vigor for life after talking with Sam (or a combination of both), but when Bucky wakes up the next morning he feels like he's had the best night of sleep in his whole life.           


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky has transitioned from reading to cooking, and Steve and Bucky get more intimate.

Although Bucky is somewhat able to find solace from reminders of his past, reading doesn't completely satisfy his need to escape from his thoughts. He would often come across certain words that put him off or made him queasy (E.g., "winter", "mission", "lonely"), while graphic depictions of acts of violence or a character's struggle with inner demons hit far too close to home for his tolerance. Whole books would be abandoned on the ground or thrown across the room whenever Bucky felt that a narrative was too relatable to his former persona. Not to say that Bucky didn't enjoy the occasional novel anymore or wasn't inspired by the stories he has read, but something new definitely needed to be added to his routine.  

Luckily for Bucky, books weren't just gateways to different stories, but also avenues to other activities as well. Soon guides on "How to do _" and "DIY _" basically littered every crook and cranny of Steve's (really "their", but Bucky still didn't feel he had the right to claim ownership) apartment. Pictures and volume were the main factors that decided whether Bucky would like an instructional guide or not. Steve didn't mind the space the books took up-except in bed.      

***                

"Can I be on the outside if you're going to read Buck?" Steve whines as they spoon under the covers. Bucky multitasks being awkwardly angled behind Steve with slowly scanning through a recipe book about French pastries.

"To quote from Hamlet Act three, Scene three, line ninety two: 'No'," Bucky quickly retorts.

In reality, Bucky could commit to memory the information of books like his current read in less than 5 minutes, but for some reason he just enjoys the feeling of Steve squirming beneath him, trying to adjust to achieve the right balance of comfort while pressed against Bucky's body. Even though Bucky's old bed had been replaced a while ago, they both agreed that they preferred sharing Steve's bed together. Steve felt assured of Bucky's safety, and Bucky never had nightmares in Steve's presence. Though the bed itself was more than wide enough to accommodate two people, they always ended up spooning and neither of them chose to question whether it was intentional or by accident.

"Christ," Steve mutters under his breath.

"Face it Steve, even when you're bigger than me, I'm always big spoon," Bucky gloats as he puts away the book and cuddles closer to Steve.

Just to feel intimate, physical contact with someone like Steve was something he had sorrily missed in the past fifty years. It was an oddly chilly day for a summer morning, but Steve was radiating with all the heat Bucky needed.

"I was big spoon whenever you were sick during a sleep over!" Steve complains as he turns around to face Bucky, eye brows raised to convey his annoyance.

"Only 'cause I didn't want to be hacking on my best friend when he was trying to sleep," Bucky counters. "Besides, you used to get sick in a week more often than I did in a year."

"I also used to get up early in the morning, it's almost ten now," Steve says as he wriggles out of bed and stretches lazily. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"I thought it went without saying that I always made breakfast now?" Bucky replies with a smug smile, hunched over as he tries to sit up on the bed.

His latest interest was cooking and he had been making every meal, dessert, snack, random treat, etc. in their apartment for the past three weeks with the precision of a five-star chef. However, even with both of their enhanced metabolisms, all the food Bucky made was way too much for two guys who grew up learning how to live with bare minimums. Steve often had to ask friends and neighbors if they would take the excess food Bucky made, which everyone delighted in and never turned down, but the frequency these requests had to be made sometimes irked Steve, who knew the reasoning behind the almost obsessive amount of time Bucky dedicated to perfecting dishes he already made exquisitely.

"Well, I want to treat you today," Steve says.

Bucky wonders if today was another anniversary of an important milestone he may have forgotten long ago or if he had done anything of remarkable merit recently, but when Steve sees the mild confusion on Bucky's face he explains, "I was thinking we could go to an amusement park, since it's summer and we both have tons of free time. . ."

" _PSH_ , 95 years old and you still don't have a clue on how to properly ask someone out Rogers," Bucky teases. "Shouldn't you be asking _'the -CIA-agent-next-door'_  to the amusement park?"

 Of course he was referring to Sharon, who still lived in the same apartment Steve and Bucky did. They met when Bucky needed to get rid of extra cookies and Steve challenged him to socialize with people other than Sam to aid in the process of adjusting to his new life. At first, Bucky felt immensely nervous talking to Sharon because she would respond to him in short, authoritative answers that definitely sounded forced (also Bucky could tell she always had a handgun behind her back when they talked), but they gradually formed a sort of friendship over a mutual appreciation for all manners of sweets and bitching about the things Steve does.

"Sharon? Nahhhh. I mean we had coffee a few times, but it just doesn't feel right to be with her, ya know? She's related to Peggy after all and. . ." Steve sighs and Bucky knows he's mulling over all the time he lost being frozen for 70 years.

Bucky wonders too what would have happened if Steve didn't sink his stupid ass in the water, and Peggy and Howard could've helped him safely land the plane and get home. Of course Steve would've been lauded with praise and honours until the end of time, but would Steve and Peggy have gotten hitched? Had kids? Found SHIELD together? Would they be laying together side-by-side on that bed in the senior's home, withered by age yet strengthened by the pride and happiness from the life they would have built together? These thoughts make Bucky sad (and somewhat angry) that his best friend in the whole world wasn't allowed to live out a life full of the love and companionship he deserved.

"Anyways," Steve suddenly interrupts, "you've been doing really well these past few weeks and the fridge can't hold anymore leftovers. Take a day off and let me kick your ass at the ring toss."

"OH, you are so on Steve!" Bucky exclaims as he tosses the sheets to the side and throws on decent street clothes.                 

          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy people are enjoying my little story! n_n  
> Please tell me if there's anything else you think Bucky should do! (E.g., drawing, knitting, IDK)  
> I swear I'm developing a plot!! I swear! (~soon~)


	3. Chapter 3

At the amusement park, Bucky and Steve try to play every carnival game they come across and end up tied 5-for-5 within an hour. Soon every game operator at the park is either amazed or furious at the two of them for mastering almost everything they do. Steve is better at games that require analysis and speed, while Bucky excels at tests of strength and accuracy.They wander around laughing and playfully shoving each other with armfuls of plush toys and other prizes, and Bucky couldn't imagine ever feeling happier.  

They save the Ring Toss for last, Bucky rolling his eyes as Steve boasts about how amazingly talented he is before even picking up a ring. They both stubbornly attempt to best each other with their individual skills (and a little bit of cheating by persistently distracting one another). Anyone within a 5-metre radius of the Ring Toss booth almost automatically become awe-struck spectators to the spectacle of two grown men perfectly landing multiple rings at a time down the necks of bottles when most people become infuriated just trying to land one. As Bucky casts his last ring, Steve sneakily angles his to knock Bucky's out before it lands gracefully on target.

With an arrogant smile Steve announces, "Can't win 'em all soldier. Don't worry, you can pick out the grand prize for me."

Begrudgingly, Bucky picks out a gigantic plush of a costumed bear and his face slowly melts into glee as he decides he likes the bear best out of everything he's gotten today.

"Thank you Steve," Bucky mutters while tightly hugging the bear.

Steve pats him on the back, grin spreading across his face, when suddenly a game operator at the Ring Toss booth silently approaches them.

"Quite the aim there sir," A sharp eyed blonde woman exclaims.

"Just had a lot of practice throwing things. So, why the disguise Sharon?" Steve asks sternly.

"Technically I'm not even suppose to be here right now, but after the Helicarriers went down in the Potomac, I promised Fury that I would keep you up to date about any HYDRA activity the CIA comes across." 

"At the risk of your position you would release private information?" 

"Transparency is a sign of good will Steve, you know that better than I do. Besides, how can the CIA not trust the man who rooted out a terrorist organization after decades of being secretly active with just a handful of people? I'm not trying to force you to join the CIA, but your assistance would greatly aid in our current operation."

"What exactly is being planned and where do I come in?"

"HYDRA bases across the globe are being found and searched for information and people, but one near the countryside is currently sheltering Rumlow and what's left of the Strike Team, for now. Through them we hope to be closer to finding some sort of list of HYDRA members. They would have had a way of keeping track of who was on their side when they delegated roles to orchestrate Project Insight and other events. Please help us, in the interest of global security."

Steve glances towards Bucky, whose eyes are downcast while still clutching his plush bear. Bucky wants to disappear into nothingness whenever he hears any reminders of Project Insight. His heart sinks deep in his chest as he remembers fighting Steve on the orders of HYDRA, and watching Steve cling to life after being battered and shot. Bucky tries to subtly keep his eyes tightly shut so tears don't start spilling down his face. The pained expression on Bucky's face is enough to deter Steve from leaving his side.

"I'm sorry Sharon, but I c-"

"No Steve," Bucky interrupts, intensely gazing into Steve's eyes. "You never back down from doing what's right, so don't stop now just for me."

"There's more than enough qualified agents in the CIA that can do the mission without me. I want to make sure you're okay Bucky," Steve counters.

"Rogers, I'm fine. Go with Sharon, complete the mission, save the day. I'll be absolutely fine," Bucky says, slightly failing at his usual, cocky humor.

A moment of silence passes between them as they hold each other's gaze with heavy-hearted compassion for each other. Afterwards, Steve turns to face Sharon.

"Alright. Give me the details Sharon. What's the plan," Steve asks.

"I'll come pick you up from your apartment at twenty one hundred hours after you suit up. Lower level officers won't have the information we need since they only operate in local areas, so we're only looking to take any Strike Team alive. The whole base will be razed to the ground after we extract any resources and people from the facility."

"Twenty one hundred hours it is then."

Sharon gives a short nod in acknowledgement before disappearing into the crowd of the amusement park, Steve's eyes remain in the direction of her exit long after she's gone, as he thoughtfully ponders what to expect during the mission.

Bucky sighs, tugs on the sleeve of Steve's shirt and gently inquires, "So, do you want to buy me funnel cake now or go on a ride?"

They try to salvage what's left of their day at the amusement park, but the light-hearted atmosphere is too dampened to keep the two cheerful as they were.       

***

It's 5 minutes before Steve must leave with Sharon to infiltrate the HYDRA base. Steve has most of his gear on under civilian clothing as he impatiently drums his fingers on an arm chair in his living room with shield at his side. Meanwhile, Bucky is stretched out on an adjacent sofa, passively completing puzzle after puzzle on a tablet a friend had given to Steve.

Steve breaks the silence by asking, "Why are you only doing easy puzzles?"

"I'm set on the highest difficulty setting Steve."

"Oh. I guess you just make everything look so effortless, I guess."

Bucky grins at the unintentional compliment. "Thanks, but it's kinda why I'm not really able to get into things like sports; I'm already too good at them because of all the things I've done before. . ."

"Then why are you doing it right now?"

Bucky sits up and sets the tablet on a coffee table. "Uhh, I don't know. Just want to keep my mind empty so I won't worry so much, for now."

"Ohh Bucky," Steve sighs before getting up to hug Bucky from behind. "Everything's going to fine after I do this favour for Sharon."

"I know it's always been your job to fight bullies/terrorists and you're pretty good at it, but. . .I hadn't remembered what it felt like to hold something dear to my heart, or any emotions really, until I saw you again and we started working through a lot of shit together. Don't let me lose you or get hurt, punk."

Steve smiled before tightening his embrace. "Jerk. I'll be back soon. In the meantime, just do something you really enjoy."

He picks up his shield as Sharon gently knocks. Steve heads out the door looking back at Bucky before formally conducting himself for the mission. Bucky slumps back down onto the couch and attempts to relax into a nap.

***

Half an hour has past since Steve left with Sharon on a CIA mission to infiltrate a HYDRA base, and Bucky finds himself too frustrated to focus on anything except feeling worried.

Fingertips rub his temple as he slouches upright on the couch. The living room is in disarray as objects lay smashed or battered on the ground because of Bucky's frustration. A gnawing fear slowly eats away at Bucky before he resolves to find Steve and make sure he's safe. All that matters now is Steve's safety.

_Fuck it. Steve, I need you. I need to help you._

He quickly jumps through an open window and continues to vault and sprint his way through the city to an abandoned warehouse. A crate hidden in a far, forgotten corner is pried open containing goggles, a face mask, a black bullet proof suit, and several guns of various makes and models with appropriate ammunition.    

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize I've neglected this story for quite a while, but I hope I can still make it a worthwhile read for some (especially because have no excuse not finishing it)!
> 
> *SPOILERS*
> 
> I'm adding Rumlow to the story just to kill him.  
> Sorry, but I hate him so fucking much.

**23:45**

"Falcon, how's aerial?" Steve whispered into comm. earpiece.

"Sky's all clear Cap," Sam replies from atop a large tree several feet away from an inconspicuous Hydra base. "No doubt they don't want any attention by having air defense."

"Sharon, where are you?"

"North entrance. I have men covering the East and West as well. You sure you and Falcon can clear the back entrance by yourselves?" Sharon asks as she leads the front of her section.

Steve smiles to himself and breathes out, "Oh yeah. Isn't that right Sam?" 

"Haha! Y'all gunna make me unleash the Falcon!" Sam belts out.

Sharon rolls her eyes with a grin on her face as she directs all groups to begin the assault. The factory compound is attacked in a sudden flurry by the groups led by her, drawing a majority of the Hydra forces to the action while Steve and Sam sneak through the South with relative ease. Swift kicks and hard punches are all that it takes for Steve to knock out the few Hydra guards left to defend the back entrance while Sam uses the momentum from swooping down to bust down the door.

"Show off," Steve remarks as they take cover behind some crates to scan the room.

Sam shoots him a toothy grin as he shrugs his shoulders. With most of the Hydra agents trying to fend off the attack by Sharon's squads, the personnel inside are in a panic scrambling to extract as much as they can from the compound before making an escape. After Steve gives a sharp nod, Sam flies across the factory to release a bomb of knock-out gas to the ground below. Those who aren't instantly rendered unconscious by the quickly dissipating gas rush to the assailant's location. Steve stealthily bounds across the room through two large swinging doors crudely labelled with a sign stating "ICU".        

"I'm in," Steve says into his comm. device, slowly prowling the hall of the care ward. The failing lighting eerily lights the abandoned unit as he passes the empty rooms. "You sure he's in here?" 

Breathing heavily Sam replies, "With the injuries he got, I'd bet he'd be in there the rest of his life. Rumlow, for all we know, knows the most about who else works for Hydra. Oh and my area's almost clear, I'll be with ya shortly." His comm. cuts out as he fights off more approaching agents. 

Steve heightens his awareness of the environment after hearing the quick scurrying of something cross the hall. Too heavy footed for a rat, too fast of an escaping Intensive Care Unit patient. The lights fade to black before he quickly raises his shield above his head to block a knife swinging down upon him. Steve sweeps a leg under his attacker to force them to the ground, but they flip several feet away and stand defiantly towards Steve as he regains his footing.

"Rumlow," Steve spits as he stares down his attacker. Even with the extensive damage done to his body from the destruction of the Triskelion, Steve can tell it's Rumlow with the smug way he carries himself in his sleeveless bulletproof vest and his spiky, black hair.

Rumlow is the first to surge forward and throws fists which Steve counters before an elbow lands on his back. A series of kicks hammer into Steve as Rumlow shouts, "It's. Nothing. Personal. Cap." Steve rolls onto his beaten back and pushes his shield on Rumlow's foot as it comes down for a stomp on his chest and knocks him on his ass. Steve jumps back to his feet, delivers a kick to Rumlow's jaw, knocking his whole body flat and unconscious on the ground, and pins him with his right foot.

"Sharon, Sam; I got Rumlow. What's the status on the rest of the compound?"

"Inside's all clear, rest of the personnel are fleeing at this point," Sam responds.

"CIA forces are rounding up the escaping personnel as we speak. Minimal injures, no casualties on our side. The distraction ambush worked Captain," Sharon says as she watches CIA trucks come to load up with the detained Hydra agents.

"That's great," Steve sighed as he tries to catch his breath. Dropping his guard, he turns his back to Rumlow before Sharon cuts in, "Steve, my squads are telling me all the snipers of the compound weren't taken out by them and communications lines were taken out by somebody else before the assault even began. Something's wr-".

Steve's shield get's knocked across the hall as Rumlow tackles Steve and breaks his nose with a headbutt. Rumlow whips out a small knife from his belt he brings up to Steve's throat as he says, "Hail Hy-".   

The windows at the end of the hall shatter and a succession of throwing knives riddle Rumlow's back. A dark figure leaps from the shadows of the hall and rip Rumlow away from Steve's body by taking a strong grip on Rumlow's throat. In one swift motion the figure tosses him out the broken window like a heap of useless garbage. The undignified crunch of broken bones is faintly heard from outside the facility as the dark figure rushes to Steve's side and rips off its face mask.

"Dammit Steve, stay with me here. Your nose is dripping blood," Said a voice with the same rich resonance as Bucky's. The lights start flickering again in the ICU hallway and Steve sees through his half lidded eyes that it is Bucky, adorned in the same gear he wore as the Winter Soldier ("What the fuck, where does he keep his spare outfits?" Steve wonders). He hastily reached underneath his black Kevlar armor to tear off a piece of white t-shirt to wipe up Steve's bloody nose, cupping Steve's face with his flesh hand.

Steve felt content to sit on the ground and press into Bucky's touch since it felt so gentle in that moment, but then his eyes snapped open in realization.

"Oh shit. Oh shit. Buck, what the hell did you just do to Rumlow!" Steve exclaims as he pushes Bucky's hand away and gets up to look out the broken windows.   

Bucky swallows a lump down his throat as he quickly computes Steve's reaction, but just simply counters with, "I'm only here to protect you and. . .I don't care what I have to do to make sure you're safe."

A sad, bashful smile spreads across Steve's face until he says, "That's sweet and all, but Bucky you-"

Bucky waves him off. "I'm here for you Steve. PTSD and moral consciousness be damned. Always have and will be that way."

Steve places both hands on Bucky's shoulders, looks him in the eyes, and states, "I am grateful you put up with my stupid ass and came to my rescue today, but Buck, you just killed our main lead to other Hydra operatives."

Bucky purses his lips and looks away from Steve's gaze before saying, "Better bet is grilling the Hydra scientists. They'll know more locations and operatives. I also have a rough recollection of the more underground bases of operation."

"So what happened to jig-saw puzzles and meditative yoga?" Steve jokingly asks to figure out why the hell Bucky is even here. 

With that, Bucky flashes a grin that reminds Steve of Bucky's old days charming dames left and right. " 'Guess the thing I'm best at is saving your ass."

Shaking his head with a grin at Bucky's outrageous arrogance, Steve's hand drops from Bucky's shoulder to his hand and gives it a supportive squeeze as they walk out of the ICU to meet the others outside of the compound, ready to face an undoubtedly pissed off Sharon. 


	5. Chapter 5

Ever since the "accidental" death of Rumlow, Sharon has put Bucky to work cracking Hydra codes and plotting key locations of hidden bases on maps for the CIA. To Steve's surprise Bucky is quite diligent and dedicated to his work. One morning Bucky is bent over a laptop, and stacks upon stacks of paper work and statistics that dominate a small coffee table. Steve leans against the door frame between the kitchen and the living room, admiring the focused determination in Bucky's eyes and how deftly his fingers glide over the keyboard. Though only a few months have past since Bucky came back into Steve's life, wanting so badly to be the man Steve supposedly knew him to be, the progress Bucky has made transitioning from a life that didn't feel like (and shouldn't have been) his to the faithfully supported lifestyle in their cozy little apartment makes Steve very proud.

"Hey," Steve whispers to catch Bucky's attention.     

"Hey yourself," Bucky playfully retorts as he turns around to flash Steve a smile. "Are you here to free me from Sharon's torture?"

" _Psh._ No way am I going to risk the wrath of a Carter, again. Sharon's only mad because you took away what she wanted to be her kill." 

"I thought CIA needed Rumlow back alive?" Bucky raises an eyebrow inquisitively, but the smirk on his face gives away his silent approval.

Steve just shrugs and casually explains, "Duty comes first, but personal pride immediately follows. You kind of screwed up both for her anyway."

With his interest far removed from the work he had applied himself to earlier, Bucky sets aside the laptop he was using and motions for Steve to join him on the couch. Steve plops down beside him and they both lean back, silently staring out the window because just looking at the reports on the table makes them feel tired.

After a moment of comfortable silence passes, Steve gently nudges Bucky's knee with his hand and asks, "So, how are you feeling?"

"About what?" Bucky counters. A lazy smile spreads on his face as Steve carefully maneuvers to cuddle with him, a reward for the achy wrist and worn out spine Bucky has gained from his persistent early morning to late night working.

"About anything I guess. Just want to know how adjusting has been."

"Hmm," Bucky hums, eye closed and head resting on his best friend's chest. To Bucky, this is what heaven must feel like; perfect, unlimited love and warmth. With all the regret and pain from the past years, decades, _a good deal of his Goddamn life_ , etc., Steve just makes him feel like all of it can be pushed aside; forgiven and forgotten. The future seems more scary than the past at times, but now they are going to it together, just like a vague memory Bucky has of when they were younger men. After taking his time to pick some choice words, Bucky turns to face Steve and simply replies, "I feel so happy that I get to be with you, again."

It's Steve's turn to softly hum, pleased upon hearing such a positive answer. Grins spread on both of their faces as they look into each other's eyes. Bucky can't put his finger on it, but for some reason Steve's baby blue eyes are just reeling him in closer and closer to Steve's face. He drops his eyes to Steve's lips before their foreheads touch. Something about the intimacy of Bucky's advances give him the feeling that what he's doing is absolutely natural, even if it had been perhaps over 70 years ago he's done something so tender, so loving.

_Oh. . .fuck it_ , Bucky thinks to himself, shutting his eyes and parting his lips slightly to plant a soft, gentle kiss on Steve's. When Bucky pulls back and opens his eyes to face the inevitable reaction of his friend, all he can see is Steve giving a small chuckle as he breaths, "Finally."

"You _asshole_!" Bucky jokingly shouts, throwing a light punch to Steve's shoulder. Steve just lets out another chuckle as he pulls their bodies closer together, legs intertwined, and eyes fully focused on each other's.

"You thought the idea of kissing you never crossed my mind in all the years that I've known you for?" Steve haughtily replies.

"Ohhh, at this point I hope you thought about more than _just_  kissing Stevie," Bucky murmurs slowly, sensually.

"Don't worry, we've got plenty of time for everything else."

Steve slides a hand to the back of Bucky's head, fingers lightly feeling through Bucky's silky brown hair, and they kiss again. This time it's faster, more passionate, more greedy for the taste of the other person. Eventually they break apart their swollen red lips and playful tongues, and Steve plants delicate pecks towards Bucky's ear. Gently nibbling on the lobe, Steve whispers, "I love you". Steve's voice is full of the sweet sincerity Bucky knows so well that his cheeks flush a deeper shade of pink before he says, "Love you back," in a breathless bliss as Steve moves down to his collar bones.

The rest of their morning is spent on the couch, making out and cuddling like sloppy teenagers (because they're both out of practice, but nonetheless affectionate). When Steve takes a nap after spooning, Bucky takes the opportunity to carefully slip away to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of milk. Sipping the cool drink, Bucky concludes that he finally understands what Sam meant all that time ago about becoming passionate about something truly meaningful to him.        


End file.
